No time to talk - I must clear off my box spring for the piles of money that I will soon use as a mattress. For you see, in the eyes of cable TV subscribers everywhere, I will, no doubt, presently become like unto a star. A distant and tiny dim star, to be sure, but somewhere in the flooded galaxy of digital media, I will have arrived.
Where do I pick up my baggage, I wonder?
Also, I have a used mattress which I will let go for $300,000 OBO.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
I hold you partly responsible for all this.
4 comments:
This is some serious cable domination shit.
i checked on my MEB music royalties and looks like it could be anywhere from $4.00 to $11.50. but i do mean ANYWHERE in that range. i'm storing my money in a tiny nesting doll inside of a thimble inside of a larger nesting doll inside of a large gun safe.
Dude - NOBODY is going to shell out $300K for your used mattress - at least not until you've been in-and-out of rehab a couple of times.
This is the BIG LEAGUES we're talking here, so get right to work on that, 'kay?
I was innocently flipping through the On Demand listings last night, hoping maybe to catch an episode of The Hills that I hadn't seen - and - kaBAH! - there was your movie, where, not having seen this yet, I didn't know it was going to be!
I stayed up late and ate a whole thing of frozen yogurt and watched it. YOU GUYS! GOOD! GOOD, YOU GUYS!
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