Jan 29, 2009

I do not know what these things mean

This (unretouched photo), I can take a pretty good guess at:

I assume it's got something to do with helping "the red man get ahead, man", or whatever Obama plans to do about racism in crosswalks, I didn't pay very close attention to his inauguration speech. But, you know, hope and change and all that.

This (unretouched photo), however, has me quite flummoxed:

While I do look forward to someday dwelling on the logical and syntactical corn maze that the statement itself presents, I can't quite get past the, um, cavalier attitude towards punctuation here. Punctuation that exists on a billboard, by the way. Who was at that design meeting?
All I can figure is the sign's underwriters (The Concerned Citizens for a Better America, is what the small print in the lower right says) feel that America is simply too awesome for an ellipses with only three dots. The fourth dot stands for Freedom! And this statement is so powerful, it needs to be put in quote! Get it up on that billboard outside the YWCA! People need to be shocked and awed by its bad punctuation, questionable rationale and jingoistic message! No time for a proofreader, they are tools of the corporatist elite!
If we stop shrieking, the terrorists have won!

Jan 23, 2009

Pea soup

I haven't yet decided if this fog is better or worse than the cloudy drizzle we usually get this time of year. There is something nice about being prompted by the weather to draw your focus in closer, like pulling the blankets up over yourself for a little while. And I do like walking around in it, pretending I'm all mysterious and literary. You just can't do that in the sunshine.
But I would like some more sunshine. Soon, please?

And now, the late, great Stephen Stucker:

Jan 20, 2009



(sorry, I just...)


(Okay, really.) mmmmmMMMAAHAHA!

(It's just hitting me now that) hee! (I don't have to think about NOT calling him "President" Bush anymore) HOOOOOAAAAHHHHAAAAAA!!
(Man, that is a load off!)
(Also, I just watched a room full of old white men stand the hell up for a black president. You're damn right you gotta.)
(Also also - happened to walk by a Nader '08 bumper sticker this morning. Felt a little puzzled and impatient. Resisted defacing it. In other news:)

(More coherent musings here.)

Jan 7, 2009

The Bold and the Musical

John Osebold of local funtime dork-pop orchestra "Awesome" has a pretty, um, fantastic alteregosideproject he calls Jose Bold. He's got a new album that's, um, really really good and available for free download on his website and he's playing at the Rendezvous here in Seattle on Jan. 29.

Listen here.
Check it out.
It's going to be, uh- oh hell, it'll be awesome.


(Fancy customized Jose Bold TuneWidgettm provided by ReverbNation. Which I'm guessing you already know by now.)

Jan 5, 2009

A rant to begin the new year

I'm trying to be more patient this year.
I'm trying not to let the weather get to me.
I'm trying to remember that I like snow, I grew up around snow, I used to ski on snow.

But King County Metro FAILS.

When, after 2 weeks of system-wide communication meltdown, unannounced route closures, inaccurate re-scheduling information, jack-knifed buses and surly, snippy drivers...
After at least ONE yearly snowstorm to ostensibly clue us in that we need some kind, any kind, of comprehensive backup plan...
After the deafening silence from city and county "leaders" about just what the hell kind of World Class City leaves one of its major infrastructure elements to basically swing in the breeze (Do we even have a mayor?)...

After all of this, about which I have been relatively even-headed, to this morning put my bus on an UNPUBLISHED REROUTE is the final straw. What the hell does an "unpublished reroute" even mean?
If. The Route? Is Unpublished? How. Do. People? Find. The Bus.
Question Mark.

Can we please stop pretending, in our heart of urban hearts, when we pull a major civic boner like this, that we are a World Class city? Because, um, hell no.
We need to once-and-for-all admit this to ourselves. It'll be okay. Other cities will still think we're cool. Right now, though, I can't even imagine how utterly foolish and impotent we must seem to a city like, say, Minneapolis.

World Class cities don't behave this way. Junior high school students don't behave this way. The World Class stoner in my junior high school English class didn't behave this way.
Maybe that's it. Maybe Metro is totally DUI. Or else maybe they should be. I can't tell anymore because apparently I'm now residing in Ridiculouston.

We have snow nearly every year.
We have heavy rains, floods, Windstormstm and other inclement weather, too. Every. Damn. Year.
There are six major, treacherous, steep hills that have been in this city EVERY YEAR since literally forever.
Why do we act surprised every year when the sky becomes white instead of grey?
Why do we sit slack-jawed watching this familiar train bear down on us every year?
How do we think it will turn out differently? Snow falls, people act stupidly, city shuts down. Sound familiar?
Why has no one thought that maybe, possibly this kind of stuff should be anticip...ated...? Planning isn't necessarily major spending. It's just planning! Making a plan and communicating that plan is NOT THAT DIFFICULT in the scheme of things. I plan things and they generally seem to make my life easier. People do it all the time, don't they? Or am I now the Mayor of Ridiculouston, living on Ridiculous Avenue in Ridiculous Mansion?

Okay fine then.
My fellow citizens:
The people that tell us that nothing could have been done, that they don't control the weather, that, gosh, we sure learned some valuable lessons from this and we sure won't let it happen this way again are MORONS. We will let it happen this way again, we HAVE let it happen this way again. It happens this way, to some degree, EVERY YEAR.

Seattle, your youth is fading, so you better damn well get some smarts behind those wrinkles. You can be a pretty attractive middle-aged city if you can figure out how to swing it. Right now, though, you're still fooling around with lip gloss and Mai Thais.

Fix please.
And how about no more fare increases until I can trust you not to do this again?

Jan 1, 2009

When the laughter stops

It's over between me and Graphjam.com
What used to be clever "song chart memes" and "music and culture in chart form" (their words!) has devolved of late into AOL-grade Seinfeld rip-offs.
Witness the titles of some of the latest charts:

"Things that go wrong in public restrooms" (where to start)
"Reasons I do stuff" (wow, gripping)
"Usage of my back seat" (are we still using the term "hanky-panky"? Really?)

I'm going to unsubscribe so hard from your RSS feed, Graphjam. I'm sorry. It's not me, it's you. Next time, try to use less suck and more good. Please make a note of it.

And no, this has nothing to do with my graph not getting enough votes to be featured on their main page (Dame Celebrity, why do you ever spurn me?). But come on, The Beatles and Highlander? How is that not better than "Reasons I do stuff"?