Dear CNN.com

Do you even read the headlines you write?

Optional public option enters health care talks

First of all: "Enters" health care talks? Like, "oh hi fellas, it's me, Public Health Care Option. I know you haven't been thinking about me a lot so I'm just gonna go ahead and enter all up in your considerations right about now. Hope I'm not a polarizing factor in the discussion or anything! LOL!!!1!!!"

And second, an "optional public option", huh? That grammar makes me want to drive my vehicular motor vehicle into a brick wall brick wall.

I bet Olympia Snowe totally does not approve of that headline. Watch your stock price.

With concern,

Beets

Internet immortality in 3... 2... 1...

I have just invented the opposite of Rickrolling.

I call it Rushrolling, and I bet you can figure out what it means.

See you suckers on the cover of Wired!*



*That's a print magazine devoted to cutting-edge technology, btw. I know, it's ironical.

Explain please

I really don't know what to make of this.

"I think, therefore I'm single"

Misogynistic? Self-effacing? Passive-aggressive?

I spent way too much time weaving in and out of traffic trying to figure out this bumper sticker today. Help me, The Internet!

Now it can be told

I'm [an extra] in the new Pearl Jam video:



I'm in the front row of the crowd - first glimpse of me if you pause it at 0:15, in the green shirt just to the right of the singer. Arms up, mouth open, bearded. Then in various cutaways after that. At 1:28, for example. Not that I kept track...

I was legally bound (BOUND) to keep my mouth shut about it until it was released, but it was a fun shoot. I've never been an enormous PJ fan (extras weren't told what band we'd be cheering til we got to the set. Super secret!), but they rocked it. Total pros and amazing musicians to see up close.

And I have to say, the song is pretty good too. Heard it once and tapped my foot. After hearing it 12 more times during the shoot, I was genuinely, as they say, rocking out.