Dear jerkwad

You are a jerk for stealing my bass guitar and gear out of my car last night.

I was lazy and too tired to lug it up the stairs, so I left it in the trunk overnight, true.  Silly me for thinking you wouldn't think to look there.  Mea culpa.

Nice touch leaving our copy of "Too drunk to F***" neatly on the passenger seat.  Funny.  
You're a regular comedian.  

Also, I noticed our empty Altoids tin on the sidewalk, and while I appreciate your "cleaning" instinct, you could have also taken care of all the empty Vitamin Water bottles as well.  What gives?

Anyway, thanks again for being a total jack-off and reminding us that poor artists still deserve to get their gear stolen from their own car in their own neighborhood. 

Enjoy that meth.

NFL RIP?

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this (are there any conspiracy theorists in blogland, I wonder?), but what is up with pro football?
So far, I've counted one football TV show coming up (Friday Night Lights, the series) and at least two feel-good football movies (Gridiron Gang and Invincible aka "Marky Mark is the unlikely hero of a 70's football team instead of the unlikely lead singer of a 70's metal band").
Add to this that Qwest has been pushing their "Football Bundle" package since May (did anyone know Qwest was even involved in the TV biz?) and FOX has practically made a new reality series out of their NFL pre-season ad campaign.  

People, the World Series hasn't even happened yet.  Yet football has been on a media blitzkrieg since early summer.  I know there are people out there who truly believe that Major League Baseball is pulling all the strings behind the scenes in Sports-land (and perhaps in other areas...), but I submit that one of two things is going on here:

A) The NFL, FOX and MLB have joined forces to create a new, ultra-American hybrid Supersport called "SmashJam", which combines all the time-outs of football with the long, slow pace of baseball and is used as a jumping-off point for players' singing/acting/endorsement careers at triple the salary.

OR

B) The NFL has hired its own players to physically assault members of both other parties into submission (they have the man-power and the built-in anti-social behavior, let's face it) and are using Qwest as a patsy for the whole thing.

I know the second argument is a little weak, I'm still working out the logic.  
I'm really hoping Seattle gets a SmashJam team, though.  This is our year!!

no-fi

PS  in the style of all great hubris, our neighbor did, in fact, password-encrypt his wireless router not long after I bragged about sniffing his wi-fi.   
just goes to show you.  something.  haven't figured it out yet.

by the way, anyone know how to crack a WEP Password-encrypted wi-fi router?  
just asking, no reason...

Summer's over, babies!

And I need a job.  

Seriously, I need to start being a responsible husband and quit dickin' around with this Merchant-Ivory-style living.   I, for one, am TIRED of being chased around the back gardens by Helena Bonham Carter!  For the last time, get your houndstooth off my Damask, lady!

Any help is apprecited.  Lame office drone jobs need not apply.  Not yet, at least...

Internet Outrage!

The interenet is down at our apartment again.  It's not really a huge deal and it doesn't happen a lot, thankfully.   
Oh, and it is free, after all.  We piggy-back on our neighbor's wireless signal which saves us apporximately four-hundred-million dollars a month in interweb bills.  I'm sure this is a huge violation of some kind of internet geek code - like downloading music on a file-sharing site without sharing your own files.  Dude, not cool.

But whatever, I'm in this for Number One, you fart-knockers.  I might not even fix my blog comment function so there's not a damn thing you can say.  How ya like me now?!  
Too bad.  I'm not listening!

Besides, I'm now at the hip Brooklyrd coffee shoppe where I get free wi-fi and the absolute greatest mix of 90's hip-hop in the universe.  

And I finally found the perfect bag. (in army green, not pink).

It's the little things, really.

I think I fixed the comment problem.

*Now* I remember why I didn't like Blogger in the first place. So temperamental!

What do YOU think...?

(fingers crossed)

Controlled by hatred/feel like sh*t/Deja Vu

Ever have one of those days?
Of course you have, everyone has.

Well, today I'm afraid there might be an earthquake or a terrerrist attack or some kind of cataclysmic event, emotional or otherwise.  I just can't get comfortable waiting for it.  Vague and looming dread: It's fan-tastic!

Perhaps it's the unemployment talking.  Lord knows, I can't exist for long without some kind of daily structure; literally a reason to get out of bed in the morning.  To say nothing of income.  Income is definitely saying a whole lot of nothing these days.
Plus, my legs will NOT stop itching for all the damn lotion in the world.
You totally wanted to know that, you MySpace whores.

I'll buy a beer for whoever can name the band referenced in the title of this post (offer not good for Dave J).  That will make both of us feel better.  

Sometimes I get distracted

It's easy with this internet thing. Maybe this will be the new home of Beets...?