Oh right, offices and sugar. I'd almost forgotten.
Subj: Homemade cookies in the break room!
Subj: Leftover Halloween candy - UP FOR GRABS!
Subj: Girl Scout cookies
Subj: Extra doughnuts on the conference room.
And now you're 20 pounds heavier. Thank goodness you've been sitting on your ass all day, too. That helps.
I'm now begging (almost literally) my female co-workers to eat the weapons-grade dark chocolate I bought last week. Aren't women supposed to loooove chocolate? Did I waste that much money on Valentine's Day gifts in college?
Please don't make me have to eat another piece. It's sitting right there! Crap.
Now I'm so amped up on the stuff that I think I might be able to bend light rays with my mind.
Working on it... working on it... Damn! Distracted by imaginary itch. No wait, real itch. Better take care of that... oops, just scratched through to bone. That'll probably need a looking at. Oh wellhahahahahahahahahaha. Why won't my legs stop bouncing?!?