Dear CNN.com

Do you even read the headlines you write?

Optional public option enters health care talks

First of all: "Enters" health care talks? Like, "oh hi fellas, it's me, Public Health Care Option. I know you haven't been thinking about me a lot so I'm just gonna go ahead and enter all up in your considerations right about now. Hope I'm not a polarizing factor in the discussion or anything! LOL!!!1!!!"

And second, an "optional public option", huh? That grammar makes me want to drive my vehicular motor vehicle into a brick wall brick wall.

I bet Olympia Snowe totally does not approve of that headline. Watch your stock price.

With concern,

Beets

Internet immortality in 3... 2... 1...

I have just invented the opposite of Rickrolling.

I call it Rushrolling, and I bet you can figure out what it means.

See you suckers on the cover of Wired!*



*That's a print magazine devoted to cutting-edge technology, btw. I know, it's ironical.

Explain please

I really don't know what to make of this.

"I think, therefore I'm single"

Misogynistic? Self-effacing? Passive-aggressive?

I spent way too much time weaving in and out of traffic trying to figure out this bumper sticker today. Help me, The Internet!